How I love to watch the birds of the air as they fly about taking time out to eat and rest. Then fly, fly, fly away.
I remember fondly the parakeets Grandma A. had, the bird cage sitting in the corner by the window. How she would talk to her birds and they would soon learn a word or two and how they would sing for us.
I have been reading of the Israelites, how they doubted, how they were unfaithful. Yet, God still delivered them.
They were caged when the fell away from God, they could not fly. It was only when the turned back to Him that they were able to fly, fly, fly away.
I am at the angry stage of my grief, I try, I struggle, but it is within me and wants to come bursting out. It surprises me when I am questioned about what I believe, when I get to the area of John Skelton and what I believe he has done my voice rises and in my tone I hear the anger.
I do not want to be caged, I want to fly with freedom. Could it be, I need this cage for a time, that I am hearing but not doing what God's voice teaches and so I stay for a time before I can fly.
Isaiah 41:14b-20 "I myself will help you, says the Lord. The one who saves you is the Holy One of Israel. Look I have made you like a new threshing board with many sharp teeth. So you will walk on mountains and crush them; you will make the hills like chaff. You will throw them into the air, and the wind will carry them away; a windstorm will scatter them. The you will be happy in the Lord; you will be proud of the Holy One of Israel. NCV
So, I turn again this morning to you Lord, I trust only you with my freedom. Free me once again from this anger, this hatred, this cage. Help me to open my mind and heart to release these thoughts and feelings, crush them then throw them to the wind to carry them away. Today I need to fly, there are things to delight in, people to embrace, and a life to fly, fly, fly away with not away from. Thank you Lord.
My Dear Friend Bev~
ReplyDeleteGod IS with you every single day Sweetie.....
You are going through these "different" emotions only because you have to.
I believe it is a normal process for all to go through to except our loss~
Your mind needs to process all that has happened Bev, but your mind will only accept it a little at a time.
I believe each and every one of us has to go through the stages~ And more so for you and your family, because you all are suffering a loss that should have never happened~!
Therefore it is a very difficult thing for your mind to accept.
Is it something you will ever get over? Absolutely not....
But GOD will help you all along to where you need to be~
You all will fly again Bev~
Because God will reunite all of you with Alexander` Andrew and Tanner one day. What a joyest day that will be.
As for John Skelton....One day he will get what he has coming to him. I believe in my Heart that as evil a person as he is` God has a much bigger plan for him then any of us know~
And for that I am most grateful.....
I Love You my Sweet Friend~ Always remember that God is standing right next to you all and it is okay to be feeling all of these different emotions. It is God's way of getting you all through this very difficult time one day at a time.
Much Love~ Toni xoxoox