As I was awakening this morning my thoughts turned to Andrew, the way he would be so grown up on issues. He would come and sit on the arm of my chair, put his arm around me and just talk in such a grown up way. I miss him so dearly, as the day progressed this has stayed with me.
I then wondered why just Andrew today and not Alex and Tanner. Then I realized I do miss them in the same way, but for some reason today I could not bring myself to think on their personalities.
Maybe this was God's way of knowing my heart is so sad that I should not take on anymore for today.
My Haper Study Bible does not have a reference for the word sad. How can that be I am wondering, their was great saddness before and after Christ.
So I turn to Merriam-Webester, here are some synonyms for the word sad:
bad, blue, brokenhearted, cast down, crestfallen, dejected, depressed, despondent, disconsolate, doleful, down, downcast, downhearted, down in the mouth, droopy, forlorn, gloomy, glum, hangdog, heartbroken, heartsick, heartsore, heavyhearted, inconsolable, joyless, low, low-spirited, melancholic, melancholy, miserable, mournful, saddened, sorrowful, sorry, unhappy, woebegone, woeful, wretched
As I look at these words, I know that I cannot stay in this state of mind. So I wrote a letter to Andrew, I am writing this blog, and I am now turning to those things and people I am thankful for.
Emma Lynn Crowell, I held her and fed her today.
Pokey we had a great chat today.
Kathye came today and we shared the time with Emma.
Taco Tues. spent with Shirley, Shelby and Adam, the Pierces, and several other friends too.
Sun, so bright this morning.
Cooler air, as I walked and exercised the dogs this evening.
Birds, they love my feeders and I love watching them.
Cherie, for sharing this method of listing the things I am thankful for each day and then journaling.
These are a few just for today, tomorrow I will have a new list.
Psalm 147:3 "He (the Lord) heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds."
(if you are feeling like me at any time, read Psalm 147)
You and your family continue to be in thoughts and prayers, these precious boys especially. How awesome it is that you stay in your Faith, no doubt others will be blessed because of it.
ReplyDeleteBevie--healing comes in stages I believe--so does mourning--you are caught in between somewhere--floating in uncertainty--so God has given you many avenues to express your sadness (our sadness)--thankyou---
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, thank you for your thoughts and prayers, without Faith I do not know how to get through this, I am thankful God is helping me to be strong and to grow. Cherie, thank you for your insight, I like "floating in uncertainty" good words to describe where I am at.
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