To God, to scripture, to family to spiritual leaders and to friends I trust.
Prayer is number one, why do I often forget this? Why is this not instant?
Dear God help me to cry out in the first moments of any trial.
Instead I am anxious and the anxiety attack starts, I turn to the medication that keeps me clam.
Dear Lord, send someone to monitor my intake of medication, I do not know what I am doing. Did I take the right dosage?
My bible is next, but wait, where do I turn Lord? I don't know where to turn.
There is so much to absorb over this trial, I don't have time to turn to my bible, I am not alone, how can I sit still and read scripture?
Dear Lord remind me to be in your word every day, to place in my heart and mind your word, that I might meditate on you day and night.
My family, now here is where I find those who know me intimately, who share in my trial. Surely we will get through this together.
They love me, but they do they understand why I need you more than I need them?
Dear Lord, I thank you for my family and for those who are rooted in your Love, I pray for those who do not know you. Help me to be a witness that they might accept you and turn to you.
My spiritual leaders, my pastor, my prayer partners, my mentors. Now this is easier, it's just a phone call or two. They will help me to get on my knees, they will know where to go in my bible to find the right scriptures.
Dear Lord, thank you for those who keep me accountable, for those who mentor me in your ways and guide me in your knowledge, for those who lift me in prayer.
And my friends, some are already here, for they are my pastor, my spiritual leaders and prayer warriors. They are my spouse, my family and my siblings in Christ.
Thank you Jesus.
I cannot forget my community Lord, for the food arrives, the phone calls start and the notes and cards fill the mailbox. I have so many friends, that I do not see or think of daily. How can this be?
Dear Lord, remind me to be thankful for those who remember me in times of trial. They too have needs, help me to be there for them.
Psalm 42:3-11 “Day and night I cry, and tears are my only food… My heart breaks when I remember the past… Why am I so sad? Why am I so troubled? I will put my hope in God, and once again I will praise Him, my Savior and my God… my heart is breaking, and so I turn my thoughts to Him. He has sent waves of sorrow over my soul; chaos roars at me like a flood… May the LORD show His constant love during the day, so that I may have a song at night, a prayer to the God of my life. To God, my defender, I say, “Why have You forgotten me?… Why am I so sad? Why am I so troubled? I will put my hope in God, and once again I will praise Him, my Savior and my God.” (Good News Translation)
These are borrowed thoughts that were shared with me:
God has not forgotten you – Don’t give up on God.
We may feel heart broken. We may remember and cry. We may feel sad and alone, and our grief might threaten to overwhelm us. We may even be tempted to think God has forgotten us. But nothing could be further from the truth! God has not forgotten about you! God loves you and cares so very much about you! Please, don’t give up. Please don’t stop trusting God. Please, don’t turn away from God. This is the time to run to God, not away from God. Like the Psalmist, let us put our hope in God, and once again praise Our Savior and our God.
I share this blog after realizing I have been through the most difficult trial, that fateful day and I have survived. My witness needs to be shared, God wants me to share my survival, so that He might help others through me.
It has taken 2 years, 9 mos. and 25 days to post this blog and to know that God has allowed me to move on, to forgive the act of that fateful day. He has allowed me to rise above the hurt, the anger and the fear.
Without giving up the Faith, the Hope and the Love. Love being the greatest of these.
Hope placed in the middle, is not an accident, it is a purpose. With faith in God, with His Love, I Hope in the answer that gives the freedom in my trial to give Andrew, Alexander and Tanner that freedom to choose. My paraphrase for I Corn. 13:30
God bless you this day and always, I post that one of you might me encouraged, blessed and find your way to God.
This blog is not for you, then maybe you know who needs to hear these words, please feel free to share with them.
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